Lots of people especially guy perceive that when they get married, that is the full stop. They can no more go out have fun; they can no more go out late and do what they wanted. For females on the other hand mostly will be thinking on the responsibility as a housewife and they end of their social life. Many people consider marriage as a end to all of what they can do. Sit down and think properly. Is marriage the end or the beginning?
The journey of a marriage becomes more complicated with a new born. It moves the relationship to a new perspective. Things are different now. Responsibilities are there to make the family institution work. The son/daughter need to be educated, shaped and nurtured for his/her future. The reality proves otherwise nowadays. People have children because they like children. After some time they just do not care about them, neglect them and let the children grow-up by themselves. Is this the proper thing to do? A child is just like a growing plant. It needs all the care and proper fertilization to grow up strong. Then you let them grow by themselves. That is the reason the age of adulthood is 21. That is when the child is able to think wisely and have developed all the proper skills and beliefs.
One piece of advice to all the newly weds- The secret of a successful marriage is to treat your spouse the same or better when in courtship. Things will just fall into place. As for newborn- Bring up your child well, nurture your child. He/she is your future. Plan your future well as you are doing now. If you are unable to sacrifice you career and your time for your children, it is best not to have one!
3 comments:
From a guy's point of view: 60% ppl get married because of lust, 20% because they don't want to be alone, 5% because their mothers asked them to, 5% because of love (which actually turns out to be lust most of the time), 5% other reasons such as causing 'accidental pregnancy'. That's why 80% of the time, husbands and wives argue after 5 years of marriage.
Marriage is made up by 2 people, and hence , the 100% responsibility should be shared by both people, making it 50% each.
Hence, marriage is 50-50. It is best to treat your spouse as your partner in life, sharing the load of responsibility.
I've known friends whose husbands delegate the job of raising the kid to the wife because he's working full-time (the traditionalist view) but these days, both parents have to play a role in bring up the kid and not just using finances. Another view is that they will just hire a maid to raise their kid for them. This is not good because the maid is not the kid's parents. A kid needs both parents during their childhood development.
Anyway, I've known people who got into marriage for all the wrong reasons, mainly it was the last step in the relationship, i.e. they've dated for > 10years and there is no more place to go and because their parents pushed them to do so.
However, despite all those reasons, most of them have made the right choice of working their marriage out first before having a kid. They do not want to add another factor into their unstable married life because it is not fair for the kid.
So, this "journey" is a life-changing one, not to be taken lightly. Sure, I've lost a few friends to marriage but then, I'm glad that they have found a partner to journey with them in their next stage in life - becoming a parent.
well said angie. A journey of life. Life goes on bah. Its like a stage some like it dramatic some would like a quiet one.
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