Muttons FHM Bra Competition

My! my! Look at what is happening in Singapore. They can think of such "interesting" things over there! Things are just so unpredictable over there. And the speed also. I never know one can do it so fast. "This" is really life long learning.

Manglish makes easy! Is that the way to go?

Proud to be a Malaysian? You ought too. We are just so innovative. Although we are using the Queen’s English since the colonial era, our own “English language” has also taken form. Manglish- the way Malaysian speaks English. Even at times I do not understand some of the Manglish, it just reduce the sentence to just a few words but carry lots of meaning.

Some classical examples are:

English: The project we are working on is a failure. We are in trouble now!
Manglish: Die! Project die lah!

English: Can you please reverse your car?
Manglish: Gostan!

English: Please switch off the power for the lights.
Manglish: Off light!

English: Excuse me, can you please move aside? You are blocking the way.
Manglish: Hot water! Hot water!

English: He is a cunning man. Please be careful when you are dealing with him.
Manglish: Con man la! Don’t get con ok.

English: What would like to have for lunch sir?
Manglish: Makan (Eat)! Minum(Drink)!

English: Please be careful with those fragile goods. You will be held responsible for the condition.
Manglish: Careful aa.. If break you pay!

English: We ought to be positive in our thinking. Keep the motivation up!
Manglish: Malaysia boleh (can)!

Sometimes I wonder if we are to feel embarrassed or feel proud. Should we feel proud that we have our own identity and have our Manglish? Or should we feel ashamed of polluting the English language? Welcome to the boleh land!

Mirconation: Sealand –smallest in the world?

The Principality of Sealand

A nation with less than 20 permanent residents! They still have their own currency, own passport and own law. Welcome to the principality of Sealand- the nation on an old WW2 fort in the sea off the coast of Suffolk, England. The country is located just 10km away from England and has its own independence. It is occupied by the Bates family in 1967 and follows a hereditary constitutional monarchy. For more information about this small wonder visit http://www.sealandgov.org/ - the official website of the nation.

The UK has also brought Sealand to court a few times in 1968 but the court favors the Bates family as the platform country is in the international waters- outside the jurisdiction of the UK.

It is just hard to believe that a country which is has less than 550m² in area has its own law, national anthem, coats of arms and even stamps. Sealand is considered one of the smallest micronation which is still operating. The Principality of Sealand came to the limelight when Haven Co. ( http://www.havenco.com ), a hosting company founded in 2000 which promises safe haven from copyright laws and such. Sealand was also popular again when Piratesbay.org wanted to buy the nation to host all its P2P stuffs. The deal was not successful.

Map showing the location of Sealand

Anyone interested to buy a small island in nowhere can become king? Looks like its possible.

Male or Female preferred. The discrimination of sexes!

Malaysian does discriminate sexes although we always deny it. Just take any papers and just go to the classified section. You will see something like, “only for females” or “male preferred”. A closer look the position advertised and you will notice it is just the position of a sales executive.

There is also a saying that hot girls/women are easier to get a job. It is the looks that matter. You may say that these people are shallow but in reality everyone has given plus points to a hot slim girl. It may actually raise you your staff motivation or even help in gaining sales. Humans are just humans. We are still attracted to so-called “good looking” people that have being fixed in our brain when we are young. On the other hand, there is also a group of employers who do not like the fairer sex. Their reasons are that females will not contribute much to the company because of the 2 month maternity leave. I do notice that some people do have a baby every year and they are like working for only 10 months in a year and still getting paid full.

Discrimination of gender is out there and is publicly exercised. I wonder why the activist groups out there are not making any noise against it. Is it fair for general jobs to be gender specific? Something should be done to these employers who are tarnish the name of country. Some gender specific jobs such as nurse and secretary are now open to both genders. Is gender that important in determining the success of an organization?

Marriage: The beginning or the end?

Lots of people especially guy perceive that when they get married, that is the full stop. They can no more go out have fun; they can no more go out late and do what they wanted. For females on the other hand mostly will be thinking on the responsibility as a housewife and they end of their social life. Many people consider marriage as a end to all of what they can do. Sit down and think properly. Is marriage the end or the beginning?

Marriage is not the end. It is the beginning of a new journey. Some people might just stop to be romantic and stop the “love” thingy and take things for granted. Is that so? Keeping and maintaining is as difficult as or not worse than courtship. A successful marriage needs the time, effort and commitment of both parties. If we see it from the view of the law, marriage is just signing of papers and being legal. It is still a relationship. Nothing is permanent in this world. Love your spouse. Spice things up. The relationship is still very important just as before the marriage!

The journey of a marriage becomes more complicated with a new born. It moves the relationship to a new perspective. Things are different now. Responsibilities are there to make the family institution work. The son/daughter need to be educated, shaped and nurtured for his/her future. The reality proves otherwise nowadays. People have children because they like children. After some time they just do not care about them, neglect them and let the children grow-up by themselves. Is this the proper thing to do? A child is just like a growing plant. It needs all the care and proper fertilization to grow up strong. Then you let them grow by themselves. That is the reason the age of adulthood is 21. That is when the child is able to think wisely and have developed all the proper skills and beliefs.

One piece of advice to all the newly weds- The secret of a successful marriage is to treat your spouse the same or better when in courtship. Things will just fall into place. As for newborn- Bring up your child well, nurture your child. He/she is your future. Plan your future well as you are doing now. If you are unable to sacrifice you career and your time for your children, it is best not to have one!

Maybe? Anything? Are we so undecided?

You can see people sitting on the park benches in Kuala Lumpur City Centre (KLCC) area. You can see people sitting on curb by the road side waiting for the bus. The best of all people who likes to sit on the fence all the time.

The so-called “undecided” disease is spreading fast in the local community. Some people do not like to commit themselves. Some are just unsure an easily influenced. To test the fiddle mind of the human being, I decided to go to the local shopping mall to give it a try.

The task is easy. Just go to any ladies section and give some comments on the dresses and you will see how easily influenced is the human mind. I once commented on the dress a lady is about to buy. Upon hearing my comments on how terrible the dress is, she just put down the dress and chooses another one. The society is like that. We buy or wear things that the society thinks is good on us.

Another classic is the lunch time question. “What do you want for lunch?” Sounds familiar? The subsequent answer is “anything” or “you decide”. Looks likes there are lots of blind followers here. Most people are just too lazy to think. They prefer things to be decided for them. All they have to do is just to follow. Just like the Digi ad “I will follow you”. The yellow condom guy look alike will just follow you everywhere you go without thinking.

Come to think of it. It’s not totally our fault. The government here practices a just follow do not ask much kind of regulation. If you ask more, more secrets will be revealed. Some secrets are not to be known and if leaked out you are to be jailed. Just to think of it. There is only one president/ prime minister and there are so many followers!

Marvelous! New Domain For the New Year

Its good to announce that xetajones.blogspot.com have got a new domain. Xetajones.com has finally make its presence in the worldwide web. Thanks to all the readers, commentators for the support all these while. I will continue to publish interesting and meaningful posts/articles and hope you all like it. Happy Chinese New Year to all and may this year of the boar bring many happy and meaningful events!

MCP- Free! Lots and lots in Malaysia

MCP is not related to Microsoft. It is not the qualifications in IT but most Malaysians have it.

One thing I noticed when I stepped foot into supermarkets and hypermarkets especially the ones in Klang Valley is that there are lots of MCP holders. Malaysian Cheapo People (MCP) is the requirement for free lunch.

Heard people saying that there is no free lunch in this world? I can prove him/her wrong. Any person that holds the MCP can have free lunch anytime at any shopping centers, supermarkets or hypermarkets. Being an MCP does not need lots of money, yet you can gain a lot. Below is the short story of a typical life of a MCP.

The MCP wake up at 10am on the Sunday. She just takes a bath and essential make-up and there she goes to the shopping complex. Browsing along the cosmetic session she managed to get some free perfumes, get the eyes make-up, free lipstick and so on. After the “beauty regime” she feels she is hungry. There she walks into the nearby hypermarkets. With a shopping basket, she goes to hunt for free food. There are lots of free tasters especially on the weekends. She goes to the instant noodle area for appetizer first and fills it up with mee. If one is not enough, the MCP can always ask for more by just saying “ Ahya.. one is not enough to taste. Can I have another one?” Before leaving she will take a 5 pack instant noodles and dump in to the basket. When she walked to the next rack she will just dump it somewhere. Then she goes to the frozen food area for the main meal. There will be fish fingers, sausages, BBQ chickens and lots more. The MCP will just follow the eat , take and dump strategy. Everyone is happy. Then comes the dessert, the MCP will target the ice cream, yogurt or the instant drink area. There it goes a full 3 course meal. The MCP will take some sweets and then check-out. A few bucks for something to keep the mouth fresh.

Next the MCP feels like she needs to know some gossip news, about celebrity and more. The MCP feels so happy when she saw a bookstore. Walk in grasp a magazine or a book and start reading. There are many seats for reading too especially like MPH in Mid-Valley Megamall.

After an hour or two, the MCP feels tired. She is tempted to try all the foot reflexology shops. “Why should I pay?” The names with all the “O”s will come out- Osim, Ogawa, Otto. You just name it and they have everything. The MCP just drop by the store show how interested she is and try them one by one. After that she would just tell the salesperson that she will consult with her mother because she is buying it for her mother and will bring her mother to try one day. There she goes again.

No wonder there is so many MCPs here. Free lunch for the day? Who would not like to have a try? As the saying goes: Malaysia-Truly Asian. Malaysians-Truly Cheapo. I wonder what these people are thinking.

Man of Steel in Malaysia!

We do have men of steels in Malaysia and they are quite a number of it. They are not required to wear their underwear on the outside or need to have the “S” logo on the chest. Ironically they do like anything made of steel, iron and especially copper!

Just look at the news and you well notice that our national power provider wires has been stolen, manholes missing and even drain covers lost in action. These are the doing of the illegal Men of Steel.

I do not realize the value of these iron stuffs until one of my friends who like to go to junkyard to get his art stuffs told me that a kilo of copper such as the drain covers can easily fetch RM10-RM12 per kilo. No wonder things are missing. Just imagine a manhole cover which is more than 10kg- RM100 per manhole cover. You just need to get 1 cover per day and your will be earning 3k. 30 manholes missing! That will be dangerous!

Never thought those covers are so valuable! Someone can just earn a living by collecting those.

There are also lots of legal Men of Steel in Malaysia. Just go to any place with lots of junkyard like Sg. Buluh and you can find them collecting none other than iron products. You can easily recognize their nest by seeing the signage such as “Ah Kau Kereta Potong” and such. There will be exhaust pipes, cut off cars and aluminum cans hanging all around. I wonder if I saw any of these cars before in any fatal accidents.

Actually, these places are worth visiting and you may even get their numbers and they will collect scraps from your house for free. When you want to throw out that spoilt microwave oven or fridge, these Men of Steel are really good. They will go to your place FOC and help you carry them off. They can carry a 6 feet 2 door refrigerator with just 2 people. No wonder they are men of steel.

As the saying goes one man’s junk is anther man’s treasure. It’s a good way to recycle and to help Mother Nature too.

Look it’s a bird! No it’s a plane! Nah it is just the Ah Beng wearing steel underwear on the outside.

MRT in Malaysia! Yes it is true!

MRT is all the while in Malaysia. We have not noticed it even before the construction of our Light Rail Transit (LRT). It is not about the Mass Rail Transit in Singapore but the Malaysian Real Time or Malaysian Rubber Time (MRT).

We in Malaysia are following the Greenwich Meant Time (GMT) of +8 which is similar to countries such as Singapore, Taiwan and Hong Kong. The strange thing is that we tend to follow one of the oldest agricultural commodities of Malaya- Rubber. The elasticity of Malaysian time is really very stretchable. It can reach for few hour differences. Take for instance the below invitation card.

8.00 pm Arrival of Guest
8.30 pm Arrival of VIPs
9.00 pm Opening Ceremony

In MRT, the situation might be totally different

8.30 pm Arrival of Guest
9.15 pm Arrival of VIPs
10.00pm Opening Ceremony

I think most of us will experience this. I call this “Injury Time” In MRT there is always ½ hour to 1 hour of injury time. This 1 hour is still acceptable if you compare it with Chinese wedding dinner. I once attended a wedding dinner stating 7pm sharp and I was there at 7pm and there is only like 1/10 of the people there. The bride and bridegroom finally walk in at 9pm. My stomach was so full at that time, not with food but Chinese Tea. I never like attending weddings dinner since then sometimes its better to stay at home and eat then attend dinner.

MRT happens a lot in our daily life. Sometimes it is not that we have a choice. Think of it going to dinner at 7pm every time and have to wait for 2 hours. Once bitten twice shy.

MRT maybe so elastic and can extend to few hours but sometimes the elasticity will just fail to go even 10 min. Just try going to an interview half and hour late and you will know what I mean. Interview you must be ½ hour earlier. When you start work the elasticity will normally come back and you can be ½ hour late. It is just like the extending and compacting of rubber and the famous excuses that goes with MRT is – blame it on the traffic.

“Itu jalan punya pasal. Tuhan buat dia jam tiap tiap hari” translated as “That is the fault of the road. God makes the road jam everyday”

Malaysian is not only famous for these product made out of rubber. MRT +0 here we come!

Now I know the reason why Malaysian rubber is so famous for its tires and condoms. We produce them and we inculcate it to our culture. I think its time to replace GMT +8 to MRT +0.